It has been a rough couple of days. I take the least little things for granted, such as putting on a t-shirt, getting in & out of a nice relaxing bath & most of all lately the fact that I've been blessed with thick naturally curly hair. Yesterday was pretty much a blur to me. I spent most of the time in bed asleep from surgery on Tuesday. Everything went well. I've got three places on my chest I've got to get healed up before my next treatment on Nov. 5th. If I did happen to talk to any of you lately & I have said something crazy or made no sense whatsoever just forgive me. I've tried to return phone calls today, or text message those of you that have been checking in on me. My chest feels like someone has been using me as a trampoline. Anthony made fun of me trying to turn my head as he walked in the house this afternoon. You would have thought I had whiplash. I feel like I'm in slow motion.
Back to what I said about taking things for granted...as I took a bath today & slowly washed my hair, it shocked me to pull out this big wad of tangled hair. It was the most yet. I had the cell phone by the tub, so I called James & asked him how quick he could get me in to get this mess cut. I was to the point that I was tired of pulling long hair out. Also I knew I could transition better to the GI Jane cut. He already had a style in mind. My sweet mom drove me & Anthony cut his lunch meeting short to come support me. I'm now sporting a Victoria "Posh" Beckham look. Austin & I like it, Anth & Abby aren't too crazy about it. They tend to be the ones that don't deal well with change. HA! Hopefully there will be pictures to import to this entry.
Pray for continued strength & healing of these areas on my chest. I really don't want to lose this port. It is very important because it makes taking treatment much easier. It's a one stick deal. Also it can be used to draw blood. With the cooler weather setting in & increased chance of catching flu & other bugs, you probably won't be seeing me out much. All your notes of encouragement make my cabin fever much more tolerable. Please keep your comments coming. They are very much appreciated.
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
A Bummer of a Day
I didn't get my treatment today. Rather disappointed, but I know it was for the best. My port-a-cath site has given me a problem. With this skin disease I have had for the last 10 years called Darier's & the Avastin (chemo), I have the tendency to not heal well. What started out as a pin hole where a stitch wasn't absorbed, has increased to the size of a pencil eraser over the weekend. I've had steri-strips on it since my last treatment in hopes it would come together, but instead it decided to "tunnel". I saw Dr. Barton today & he wanted me to see Dr. Carter & see if it could be stitched back up & start anew. Anthony had already told me that the port would probably have to come out. I had the same feeling yesterday when I saw the hole. So at 2p.m. today we were scheduling outpatient surgery at the hospital AGAIN!! Take one out & put another one in on the other side is the plan. I'm so sick of having to be put to sleep. I have to be there at noon with surgery at 1:30 or so. Remember me!!
Trusting in him,
arthanise
Trusting in him,
arthanise
Sunday, October 21, 2007
My Speaking Engagement
I don't know about most of you guys, but one of my most dreaded classes in college was speech. I saved it until the summer before I started nursing school...procrastination. I worked at a pharmacy part-time, so a pharmacist friend got me some propanolol (an old blood pressure med) to take right before I had to give one of seemingly endless speeches. Well, today I got to use those speech writing skills..HA! I had the privilege to be in a fashion show sponsored by Coldwater Creek in Green Hills for the Susan G. Komen for the Cure-Nashville affiliate. Another young survivor & I were asked to take part in this great event. I sat up late last night typing out what all I wanted to say. The manager of the store wanted me to give a 5 minute or so testimony. At first I thought no problem, but when I sat down to filter through all my experiences over the last 4 years I realized I could possibly write a book. Anyway, it went great & I had family & friends there for moral support. At one point I looked at Anthony & he hid behind the rack, because he knew if I had locked eyes with him, it would have all been over with. The tears would have flowed like a river. I managed to hold it together throughout, but it was tough.
When people came up to me afterwards & spoke words of encouragement it meant so much. I met other survivors & I may have mentioned this before, but it is as if you have an instant bonding with that person. It's just like a sisterhood. The other survivor who spoke was 29 when she was diagnosed. She told her story of how her husband shaved her head for her & then shaved his own as well. I introduced them to Anthony & we talked about this, so I'm still holding out that Anth will still want to hold that razor & do the honors along with the children.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans8:28
When people came up to me afterwards & spoke words of encouragement it meant so much. I met other survivors & I may have mentioned this before, but it is as if you have an instant bonding with that person. It's just like a sisterhood. The other survivor who spoke was 29 when she was diagnosed. She told her story of how her husband shaved her head for her & then shaved his own as well. I introduced them to Anthony & we talked about this, so I'm still holding out that Anth will still want to hold that razor & do the honors along with the children.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans8:28
Saturday, October 20, 2007
The minimal
I've had a most wonderful week thanks to the good Lord!! The side effects have mainly been fatigue & extreme heartburn. I can handle that any day. I contribute this to the many, many prayers be lifted up for me!! Words cannot express the gratitude I have for so many loving, thoughtful people that are wrapping us in prayers. Without a support system of family & friends, this would be impossible. My stress level is being kept at a minimum because I know everyone is being taken care. My mother is a saint & has been staying with us three days a week. She will hardly allow one towel to be dirty. The children love having her around & for me it is nice having the company when I'm just lying around feeling crappy. AND our bichon Winnie loves mom too..she feeds her table scraps & has gained a few pounds. HA
Remember me this week because I get the triplet of drugs. Hopefully my blood counts will have recovered enough to take it again. Last night as we came home from Franklin after spending the evening with a couple of friends, the dread of Monday starting setting in again. It seems when the weekend gets here, I know it is going to go by super quick then I'm back to "the place" I will call it. Fighting those nasty little cells that decided one day to go haywire. I will sit in the chair with all the other club members while the sweet nurses come around checking on you, offering you food & drink, & watch my poison drip. I'm not mad or upset, this is the only way I can describe what Monday's are becoming for me. Each day the children ask when my hair is going to come out, & sadly this is probably the week. My thick dark hair is getting a bit thinner each day. My hairdresser said the bottom third was being robbed of nutrients, which is why it is drier. It is only hair. That is the least of my worries.
We did manage to get family photos made last Saturday. It was amazing seeing quality photos & realizing how much the children had changed since the last ones I had made. I can't wait to get our family portrait hung & compare again next year at this time when I'm well!
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10
Remember me this week because I get the triplet of drugs. Hopefully my blood counts will have recovered enough to take it again. Last night as we came home from Franklin after spending the evening with a couple of friends, the dread of Monday starting setting in again. It seems when the weekend gets here, I know it is going to go by super quick then I'm back to "the place" I will call it. Fighting those nasty little cells that decided one day to go haywire. I will sit in the chair with all the other club members while the sweet nurses come around checking on you, offering you food & drink, & watch my poison drip. I'm not mad or upset, this is the only way I can describe what Monday's are becoming for me. Each day the children ask when my hair is going to come out, & sadly this is probably the week. My thick dark hair is getting a bit thinner each day. My hairdresser said the bottom third was being robbed of nutrients, which is why it is drier. It is only hair. That is the least of my worries.
We did manage to get family photos made last Saturday. It was amazing seeing quality photos & realizing how much the children had changed since the last ones I had made. I can't wait to get our family portrait hung & compare again next year at this time when I'm well!
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Whew! Another One Down
My doctor wasn't there today. He is in Italy & Turkey. For once I wished I could be a stowaway...any where but getting freakin chemo. Oh well, with the way time flies now in days, it will be Friday soon, & I hopefully will have my energy back. This weekend was fabulous, and this morning I was the energizer bunny.
The research nurse LeeAnn saw me instead & quickly observed my labs & said I might not get my treatment today. My eyes filled with tears. Here I am ready, psyched to get another one down & low white cell counts already?! My granulocytes were 900, a value of 500 equates going straight to the hospital. My total white cell count was 2500 (5000-10,000 is normal range). After she scanned the clinical trial information for what I must have for day 8 of this 28 day cycle, she said that she thought that I might be able to get a lower dose. She had to check with someone so I waited frantically a few minutes. Entering she said we could proceed. By 11:30, my port was accessed & I was starting to float again. Ativan is a great drug!!
Right before I was finishing up I looked behind me & a sweet patient of mine, that is a fellow survivor, locked eyes on me & gave me a surprised & perplexed look. She had grown quite a bit of hair back, so I kinda took a double take. It is so weird for me sitting by patients I have had over the last 5-6 months. I don't say anything to them. Most were a mess when they came in & since I work nights they probably don't remember me. Wearing scrubs makes a difference too. We got to visit a few minutes which was nice.
I realized something this morning. It was as if God made it crystal clear. We are in control of nothing. We make the choice everyday & set the precedence for our emotions, stress level, etc. I heard on WAY-FM 88.7 that most people have heart attacks on Mondays by 10 a.m. That was what really sparked my thinking of this control thing that especially us moms have. We feel our family has to look a certain way, the house has to be straightened, meals on time, the list goes on & on. But in the great scheme of things, it is so simple. If we are in walk with God everyday & depend solely on him he can be our personal assistant. If we have frequent conversations with him, he will make sure our day goes like HE HAS PLANNED. I didn't mean to get on a soap box my friends, but when you are faced with adversity & trials that you just can't handle, all you have to do is cry out to our Lord & ask him to take it. I have to do it frequently & it gives me such a liberated feeling. We just don't spend enough time on our knees & our eyes on our maker. Psalm 95
Thank you for allowing a Beth Moore moment to creep into this blog. I just love her. Keep me on the prayer chains. I feel your prayers daily.
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:15-16 NIV
The research nurse LeeAnn saw me instead & quickly observed my labs & said I might not get my treatment today. My eyes filled with tears. Here I am ready, psyched to get another one down & low white cell counts already?! My granulocytes were 900, a value of 500 equates going straight to the hospital. My total white cell count was 2500 (5000-10,000 is normal range). After she scanned the clinical trial information for what I must have for day 8 of this 28 day cycle, she said that she thought that I might be able to get a lower dose. She had to check with someone so I waited frantically a few minutes. Entering she said we could proceed. By 11:30, my port was accessed & I was starting to float again. Ativan is a great drug!!
Right before I was finishing up I looked behind me & a sweet patient of mine, that is a fellow survivor, locked eyes on me & gave me a surprised & perplexed look. She had grown quite a bit of hair back, so I kinda took a double take. It is so weird for me sitting by patients I have had over the last 5-6 months. I don't say anything to them. Most were a mess when they came in & since I work nights they probably don't remember me. Wearing scrubs makes a difference too. We got to visit a few minutes which was nice.
I realized something this morning. It was as if God made it crystal clear. We are in control of nothing. We make the choice everyday & set the precedence for our emotions, stress level, etc. I heard on WAY-FM 88.7 that most people have heart attacks on Mondays by 10 a.m. That was what really sparked my thinking of this control thing that especially us moms have. We feel our family has to look a certain way, the house has to be straightened, meals on time, the list goes on & on. But in the great scheme of things, it is so simple. If we are in walk with God everyday & depend solely on him he can be our personal assistant. If we have frequent conversations with him, he will make sure our day goes like HE HAS PLANNED. I didn't mean to get on a soap box my friends, but when you are faced with adversity & trials that you just can't handle, all you have to do is cry out to our Lord & ask him to take it. I have to do it frequently & it gives me such a liberated feeling. We just don't spend enough time on our knees & our eyes on our maker. Psalm 95
Thank you for allowing a Beth Moore moment to creep into this blog. I just love her. Keep me on the prayer chains. I feel your prayers daily.
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:15-16 NIV
Sunday, October 14, 2007
It's That Time Again
As I sit typing, it is a beautiful, perfect fall day. What a day the Lord has made once again for us to enjoy!! I just got home from watching my two darling children hit golf balls. We managed to get to church service late & sneak up in the balcony, come home & change & go enjoy the outdoors for a while. They are hanging out with Anthony at the club, so I can grab a small siesta. If you don't know me that well, I will tell you that I enjoy napping. My husband says I'm part lion. I can sleep just about any time of day. Anyway, as I drove home, I called my dear sister in Georgia, who I woke from a nap...she likes napping too...& I told her the dread of tomorrow was already setting in. I just get one drug tomorrow, taxol, but this is the mean old one with more severe side effects that causes my hair follicles to release from my big ole noggin. I am prepared this week to loose quite a bit more hair. My wig has been ordered & is probably waiting for me in Nashville. My children are already preparing to help do the honors of my new GI Jane style. Anthony has pretty much refused to take part in this family affair. I'm trying to make it fun for the kids, but Anthony finds no humor in it at all. Tears are filling my eyes as I think of "my man". He is stoic for the most part, but the hair thing is difficult for him. It's going to be a constant reminder for him that I'm really sick. Having two baldos in the house...yikes!!!
Please pray that my blood pressure will stay under control. The Avastin is causing my hypertension to become worse. My infusion will take less time tomorrow. Hopefully we can get in & out faster than last week. It was a zoo there last week. I can feel the power of prayers working in my life. Thanks again for all your love & support.
I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done. Psalm 118:17
Please pray that my blood pressure will stay under control. The Avastin is causing my hypertension to become worse. My infusion will take less time tomorrow. Hopefully we can get in & out faster than last week. It was a zoo there last week. I can feel the power of prayers working in my life. Thanks again for all your love & support.
I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done. Psalm 118:17
Thursday, October 11, 2007
What a Ride
Bizarre!! That is the only way to sum up how I have been feeling these past few days. The pain has been nothing like I had expected, thank the good Lord. My nerves are on edge more than anything. It's as if I can feel this foreign substance circulating in my body reeking havoc on all the healthy cells. Exactly what it is suppose to do, but its just freaky. I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers, cards, comments on my blog, food, etc. God is not leaving my side. I can just feel him coddling me daily. It is an awesome feeling!!!
Please forgive me if I don't answer the phone or take a call. I have been taking my meds like I suppose to & they zap me. I love you all & appreciate everything you are doing for my family & me.
By the way...just to clear the air...I am going to be taking chemo for six months, with scans every two months. Then I will be on maintenance chemo for approximately a year. This is what the plan is for now. The primary origin of the cancer is breast. It has metastasized to my bones, primarily my spine, pelvis, rib cage, & right arm. A few lymph nodes are positive also. No major organs are involved, which is a blessing. This is very rare considering I had stage 0 & double mastectomies back in Sept '03. Evidently some have heard that I only have six months to live. Lord willing, you all will have to put up with me much longer. Ha!
Keep praying & god bless you all!
Whatever you ask for in prayer BELIEVE that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24
Please forgive me if I don't answer the phone or take a call. I have been taking my meds like I suppose to & they zap me. I love you all & appreciate everything you are doing for my family & me.
By the way...just to clear the air...I am going to be taking chemo for six months, with scans every two months. Then I will be on maintenance chemo for approximately a year. This is what the plan is for now. The primary origin of the cancer is breast. It has metastasized to my bones, primarily my spine, pelvis, rib cage, & right arm. A few lymph nodes are positive also. No major organs are involved, which is a blessing. This is very rare considering I had stage 0 & double mastectomies back in Sept '03. Evidently some have heard that I only have six months to live. Lord willing, you all will have to put up with me much longer. Ha!
Keep praying & god bless you all!
Whatever you ask for in prayer BELIEVE that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24
Monday, October 8, 2007
Let the Chemo Begin
I arrived at 10 at the oncology office via a gracious friend. With the help of a bunch of loving friends, & having swallowed some of my independence, I'm allowing myself to be taxied to & from chemo appointments. I have always been one to go by myself to the doctor, unless I know I'm going to have some type of sedation.
Today went much better than expected. Although I didn't leave outta there until 4:20. Before I left home, I globbed Emla cream (a numbing cream) on my portacath site. This stuff is the best!! I've got the new purple power port, when is new & improved that can go through scans. My nurse Shelley, was a pro! As she started to flush my port with saline, I had this nasty taste in my mouth, like metallic plastic. Soon a peppermint took care of that little problem. She then hooked me up to premeds which included Decadron (a steroid), benadryl, tagamet, & ativan. Soon I was floating in the clouds. The taxol was next to be administered. This chemo drug made me the most nervous. It is the most likely to cause a reaction. Anthony sat there & watched me while doing his daily Suduko puzzle. It took about 90 mins, then the Gemzar, & lastly the clinical trial drug Avastin. It took another 90 mins. & my blood pressure had to be monitored every 15 minutes.
I'm pooped to say the least. I feel funny too. Getting all three drugs today, they predicted I would be wiped out, with flu-like symptoms. Also there could be quite a bit of bone pain starting tomorrow or Wednesday.
My mother is staying with us the next few days. What a wonderful mother I have. She is already spoiling us with good ole southern cooking. Today she had pinto beans, turnip greens, & cornbread made when I got home. I lit candles as soon as possible..haha!
Thank you all for praying for me today. I wrote three scriptures out & kept them beside me. I know my Lord was with me & made this most dreaded experience, tolerable & uneventful.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline. II Timothy 1:7
Jeremiah 29:11 also hung beside me today. It is in the upper right hand corner of the blog page.
Today went much better than expected. Although I didn't leave outta there until 4:20. Before I left home, I globbed Emla cream (a numbing cream) on my portacath site. This stuff is the best!! I've got the new purple power port, when is new & improved that can go through scans. My nurse Shelley, was a pro! As she started to flush my port with saline, I had this nasty taste in my mouth, like metallic plastic. Soon a peppermint took care of that little problem. She then hooked me up to premeds which included Decadron (a steroid), benadryl, tagamet, & ativan. Soon I was floating in the clouds. The taxol was next to be administered. This chemo drug made me the most nervous. It is the most likely to cause a reaction. Anthony sat there & watched me while doing his daily Suduko puzzle. It took about 90 mins, then the Gemzar, & lastly the clinical trial drug Avastin. It took another 90 mins. & my blood pressure had to be monitored every 15 minutes.
I'm pooped to say the least. I feel funny too. Getting all three drugs today, they predicted I would be wiped out, with flu-like symptoms. Also there could be quite a bit of bone pain starting tomorrow or Wednesday.
My mother is staying with us the next few days. What a wonderful mother I have. She is already spoiling us with good ole southern cooking. Today she had pinto beans, turnip greens, & cornbread made when I got home. I lit candles as soon as possible..haha!
Thank you all for praying for me today. I wrote three scriptures out & kept them beside me. I know my Lord was with me & made this most dreaded experience, tolerable & uneventful.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline. II Timothy 1:7
Jeremiah 29:11 also hung beside me today. It is in the upper right hand corner of the blog page.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
A Few Days in a Nutshell
I have been meaning to write all week, but as soon as I find a few moments, the phone rings, or a child cries out, or I simply get side tracked. No other moms out there do that, do they?! Appointments have filled my week, but the best was Thursday seeing the cardiologist. It is good to know I have a strong heart & it is working like it should. Hooray!! Friday we had a friend coming in from Little Rock that we hadn't seen in a while. A single 40 year old who would be a great catch for someone out there!!! (I'm a matchmaker on the side) A few others came over & ate Giordano's pizza we had Fed-exed from Chicago. Some of the best stuffed pizza you will ever put in your mouth.
Earlier Friday the kiddos & I went to Nashville & visited the Hair Prosthesis Institute. I met one of the nicest & informative ladies there. She made me feel at ease & gave me the details about the hair loss that I'm more than likely going to experience. Abby & Austin played with the wigs while I had my consultation. The special thing about this place is that they deal with "virgin" human hair. Hmmm...yes I know a lot of you are probably shaking your heads. Meaning it hasn't been color treated, permed, or burnt up with a Chi flat iron (my daily hair appliance). She told me there was no need to get my hair cut this coming Friday, which was a relief. Usually thick haired women, such as myself, make it through two treatments before it thins out. So I'm looking at 16-21 days before I go G.I. Jane. I will call her when I'm loosing 7-10 hairs at a time. As a crazy, dear friend put it, "you don't want to get to the point you look like you've got the mange!" We both laughed hysterically with that visual of me coming into play. I hope I do not offend anyone with my humor about hair loss. It is so much easier to laugh instead of crying about it. My hair is the longest it's been in several years, & almost all one length.
The children & I went to the Aquarium restaurant at Opry Mills for lunch. I could have sit there all afternoon watching all the different aquatic life...simply mesmerizing. We then took a trip into the mall & I came across Christmas outfits for the kids. So I'll be a step ahead when it comes picture time. We had some great quality time today. Their little giggles & silliness just made the day. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel it is so imperative to let them know what it going on with my health & what the days ahead are going to entail. There are going to be "not so pretty days" I'm sure, but hiding the truth from them just makes them more scared. My children are very intelligent & not much gets past them.
Prior to lunch, we went to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure- Greater Nashville Affiliate in Green Hills. For those of you that don't know, I became involved with them this spring & became their buyer/consultant for items they sell at different functions/fundraisers. I go to Atlanta market (AmericasMart) & buy purses, jewelry, & other neat things. It is a fun gig!! BTW...The Race for the Cure is November 3rd. Festivities start at 6:30 a.m. at Bicentennial Mall. 5K run, 5K walk & 1 mile walk. It makes for great family time. There are many activities for the children. If you are interested you can register online @ www.komen-nashville.org. Please consider taking a Saturday morning out to be part of this worderful foundation. I have met some of the loveliest women & I look forward to being part of this pink sorority for many years to come! Anyway...the new executive director, Cate, at Komen asked me if I would like to go with her & a few other survivors & be honored at the Titans game today (Sunday). We had seats on the sidelines & were on the field during one of the first quarter breaks!! It was a ton of fun. It was great of the NFL to acknowledge breast cancer awareness month.
I am going to the doctor at 10 & will get my first chemo after seeing him. Please remember to lift me up in prayer in the morning. I have no idea how long it will take (at least 3 hours I guessing). I instructed Anth (ha) that he couldn't go back to the office until my port was accessed & the infusion was started. I'm nervous of course, but I know my Lord will be holding one hand while my sweet hubby holds the other.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me Philippians 4:13
Earlier Friday the kiddos & I went to Nashville & visited the Hair Prosthesis Institute. I met one of the nicest & informative ladies there. She made me feel at ease & gave me the details about the hair loss that I'm more than likely going to experience. Abby & Austin played with the wigs while I had my consultation. The special thing about this place is that they deal with "virgin" human hair. Hmmm...yes I know a lot of you are probably shaking your heads. Meaning it hasn't been color treated, permed, or burnt up with a Chi flat iron (my daily hair appliance). She told me there was no need to get my hair cut this coming Friday, which was a relief. Usually thick haired women, such as myself, make it through two treatments before it thins out. So I'm looking at 16-21 days before I go G.I. Jane. I will call her when I'm loosing 7-10 hairs at a time. As a crazy, dear friend put it, "you don't want to get to the point you look like you've got the mange!" We both laughed hysterically with that visual of me coming into play. I hope I do not offend anyone with my humor about hair loss. It is so much easier to laugh instead of crying about it. My hair is the longest it's been in several years, & almost all one length.
The children & I went to the Aquarium restaurant at Opry Mills for lunch. I could have sit there all afternoon watching all the different aquatic life...simply mesmerizing. We then took a trip into the mall & I came across Christmas outfits for the kids. So I'll be a step ahead when it comes picture time. We had some great quality time today. Their little giggles & silliness just made the day. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel it is so imperative to let them know what it going on with my health & what the days ahead are going to entail. There are going to be "not so pretty days" I'm sure, but hiding the truth from them just makes them more scared. My children are very intelligent & not much gets past them.
Prior to lunch, we went to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure- Greater Nashville Affiliate in Green Hills. For those of you that don't know, I became involved with them this spring & became their buyer/consultant for items they sell at different functions/fundraisers. I go to Atlanta market (AmericasMart) & buy purses, jewelry, & other neat things. It is a fun gig!! BTW...The Race for the Cure is November 3rd. Festivities start at 6:30 a.m. at Bicentennial Mall. 5K run, 5K walk & 1 mile walk. It makes for great family time. There are many activities for the children. If you are interested you can register online @ www.komen-nashville.org. Please consider taking a Saturday morning out to be part of this worderful foundation. I have met some of the loveliest women & I look forward to being part of this pink sorority for many years to come! Anyway...the new executive director, Cate, at Komen asked me if I would like to go with her & a few other survivors & be honored at the Titans game today (Sunday). We had seats on the sidelines & were on the field during one of the first quarter breaks!! It was a ton of fun. It was great of the NFL to acknowledge breast cancer awareness month.
I am going to the doctor at 10 & will get my first chemo after seeing him. Please remember to lift me up in prayer in the morning. I have no idea how long it will take (at least 3 hours I guessing). I instructed Anth (ha) that he couldn't go back to the office until my port was accessed & the infusion was started. I'm nervous of course, but I know my Lord will be holding one hand while my sweet hubby holds the other.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me Philippians 4:13
Monday, October 1, 2007
Back to Reality
You know when a vacation has come to an end, there is a bit of you that wants to resist. The thoughts of going back to the daily bump & grind, always make me a little sad. This trip was truly one that I can say I did not want to come back home. I knew I had a dr's appointment waiting on me at 8:15 Monday morning. We got back at 9:30 Sunday night. On the ten hour trip back, driving through the beautiful mountains & looking up into the gorgeous blue, almost cloudless sky, I realized how much I have suppressed the thoughts of today's visit. I knew it would be the day to finalize the treatment schedule & find out the last test result.
We have been waiting on this FISH test to see if hormone therapy, Herceptin, would be a treatment option for the HER2neu gene. As soon as Dr. Mainwaring walked in & shook our hands & exchanged pleasantries, he told us this test was negative... meaning that the cancer is not being fed by hormones. Good & bad. The good being that this usually means the cancer is less aggressive. Thank the Lord!! Bad is one less treatment option. He gave me the names of the drugs we will be using, three total. One is experimental. I agreed to be part of a clinical trial, and this drug is supposedly doing great things. Along with the drug names were the side effects. These are not pretty!
This week I have to have a battery of tests run AGAIN. Tuesday--PET scan, Wednesday--Bone scan, EKG, Echocardiogram, Thursday--Cardiologist (required before chemo starts). Chemo starts next Monday after I see the oncologist. It will probably last at least 3 hours. It has to be infused slower the first time to monitor for reactions. I will have another PET scan in 2 months to see if I'm responding.
Please pray for my family foremost. I can only think of them. Abby is worried about me loosing my hair. Being 10, she gets easily embarrassed. Austin just doesn't understand. Anthony is quiet & I can tell by the look on his face, that he is horrified.
I know this isn't going to be easy, but I have to look at it as God's plan. I cannot question that plan, but I have to accept it & trust him. I know he will take care of us!
But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord... Jeremiah 30:17
We have been waiting on this FISH test to see if hormone therapy, Herceptin, would be a treatment option for the HER2neu gene. As soon as Dr. Mainwaring walked in & shook our hands & exchanged pleasantries, he told us this test was negative... meaning that the cancer is not being fed by hormones. Good & bad. The good being that this usually means the cancer is less aggressive. Thank the Lord!! Bad is one less treatment option. He gave me the names of the drugs we will be using, three total. One is experimental. I agreed to be part of a clinical trial, and this drug is supposedly doing great things. Along with the drug names were the side effects. These are not pretty!
This week I have to have a battery of tests run AGAIN. Tuesday--PET scan, Wednesday--Bone scan, EKG, Echocardiogram, Thursday--Cardiologist (required before chemo starts). Chemo starts next Monday after I see the oncologist. It will probably last at least 3 hours. It has to be infused slower the first time to monitor for reactions. I will have another PET scan in 2 months to see if I'm responding.
Please pray for my family foremost. I can only think of them. Abby is worried about me loosing my hair. Being 10, she gets easily embarrassed. Austin just doesn't understand. Anthony is quiet & I can tell by the look on his face, that he is horrified.
I know this isn't going to be easy, but I have to look at it as God's plan. I cannot question that plan, but I have to accept it & trust him. I know he will take care of us!
But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord... Jeremiah 30:17
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