21 Days in Santa Barbara

It is amazing here! Unbelievable positive aura! We got here late Sunday night & checked in at a Marriott in Ventura Beach about 30 miles away. Kinda strange no Marriotts in SB. Ordered pizza & coke. Guess this will be the last of eating this for a while.

Day 2 My first day at Issels was warm & welcoming. We met with Dr. Christian Issels, N.D. He is the medical director & son of Josef Issels who started the integrative medicine approach & immuno biological treatment. Next, we met with Dr. Walter Kim M.D., a staff physician, whose background is internal medicine & nuclear med. He looks at all the previous labs, current labs & determines what is going to work best for me. Very intelligent guy. They are getting my biopsy side & running a conglomeration of tests to see what the tumor is sensitive to. Will go from there & add medications one at a time to target my specific cancer. We want to know what makes it tick & shut those pathways down. My first treatment of the day was a massage w/ reflexology before my infusion started. There were 4 ladies & one man in the treatment room with me. Anthony hung out most of the time with all of us except to go out & grab a bite of lunch. I went from one therapy to another all day. The staff are so accommodating & treat you like family. There is so much to learn & there is no way one can do it by oneself. Anthony is excited about how our diet is changing. It is going to be necessary in order to help heal my body. It is a big lifestyle change. I go in each day at 9 & look at the board in the infusion room to see what I'm doing for the day. I left the clinic with a bag full of supplements to start tonight. We found this cute little cottage to rent for the remainder of my trip. It is close to the ocean & a mile or two from the clinic. We will move to there tomorrow afternoon. My hip is killing me so Anth went & got an IN/OUT burger & chocolate milkshake. The last of fast food... what a way to go out. Nothing better than IN/OUT for those of you that haven't experienced. My mouth waters as I type this.

Day 3 Each day my portacath is accessed for my infusion. I have an allergy to adhesives. Even paper tape or bandaids will cause skin tears. This first week my bags consist of immune boosting vitamins, minerals, enzymes, & gradual detoxing. I had my first acupuncture session. Was a bit nervous, but it was wonderful. Learned how to focus my breathing on specific areas when I'm stressed. Talked with Dr. Lewis, a retired internal med guy who has gone through miraculous healing himself. He specializes with mind, body, soul & has an mesmerizing voice. Closest to hypnosis I've ever had. Lastly, I met with Suzanne, the lifestyle coach/nutritionist. She is a chef to Kenny Loggins when he is in town. One of her sons is chef to Eddie Murphy & lives in his mansion. He had to learn to make fried chicken for the family. Suzanne never made or bought it for her boys. WOW...no fried chicken!!

Day 4 Lost it today. Being the middle of the week I am in information overload. I looked over at my sweet husband & realized he would be leaving me soon & I thought of the kids & how much I missed them. The tears started flowing & I couldn't make them stop. Dr. Issels came in & we went to his office & talked. He told me I was here to get better so I could be here with my family. Three weeks is a short time compared to so many other things I don't want to miss in our life. I keep calling to HIM for strength. I will make it through the next three weeks. My hip is still killing me when my ibuprofen wears off.

Day 5 Anthony made a veggie & organic egg scramble. Very tasty. Another nurse accessed my port today with difficulty. She will not touch it again. It hurt so bad it made me nauseous. My RN Eva wasn't there. She is wonderful! The lunches here are very good. Usually a soup, salad & entree w/ some sort of grain/rice veggies & meat. Anthony & I went to the movie & saw Couples Retreat--very funny.

Day 6 Started the day with a massage. Eva was back today, thank goodness. Sweet Lena from San Diego, originally from Macedonia, is leaving today. She ended up staying four weeks. She has colon cancer that metastasized to her liver. When she got here she was barely walking & required help, but now is up going by herself. A beautiful lady inside & out. Anthony & I went shopping tonight. It is fabulous here. State street has all the stores one would want. We ate at Spiritland Bistro, an organic restaurant recommended by the clinic. It was delicious. Now my other hip is hurting.

Day 7 We slept late & watched college football. We went walking at the wharf & marina. We got stuff for the kids for Anth to take back. Ate at Bay Cafe. Had to adjust the salad I ordered. Not eating bread was difficult.

Day 8 Took Anth to the airport. Luckily Tracey's flight came in before Anth left out. I hated to see him leave. Got Tracey settled in & I had to go do laundry & she went to the grocery. I was talking to Abby while I was at the laundromat & I told her what I was doing & she thought it was so cool to be at a laundromat. LOL???LOL Need I say more...a twelve year old. We went up to Cliff Dr. where the sunset is gorgeous. Went back to eat at Spiritland because they are closed on Mon/Tues.

Day 9 I had a big bag that took 3 hours to infuse, plus oral cesium followed by potassium. It made me feel weird... face & lips tingling. Tasted horrible. Had to pray alot through this experience. I drink a ton of water while I'm there. It is alkaline water (8.5). It helps the body detox as well. Cancer cannot live in an alkaline environment. Most of what we eat & drink is acidic. I have learned so much the past few days with more to come I'm sure. I wasn't feeling very good so we ate at Sojourner Cafe.

Day 10 Acupuncture, hyperbaric chamber (have 3 x a wk), infrared sauna (everyday), short infusion, got out by 2. I asked the nurses about which beach to go to this afternoon. They all said Butterfly beach toward Montecito. It is across from Four Seasons Biltmore. A place to spot celebrities. The beach, shells, rocks are so different than the Gulf or Atlantic. The view was phenomenal. We did see something we've never seen before...a shipwrecked boat. A local said it had washed up a few days ago & no one had come to get it yet. Wonder what happened there...hmmm.

Day 11 Another 3 hour infusion bag followed by the cesium & potassium. My sweet angel of a nurse Eva had gifts of emla cream (a numbing agent) & press n seal (instead of tape) for my port. I just love her!! Little things like that thrill a cancer patient if it means less pain. Didn't feel too good after the day was over. I felt as if I had chemo. Tracey made dinner & I went to bed early. My hips aren't requiring ibuprofen now.

Day 12 Got up early & took a walk on the wharf. The sun was rising, the fog was lifting into the SB hills, seals barked on nearby buoys & sea gulls made that annoying chirp. What a way to start the day. HIS majestic beauty & power are amazing!! Tracey leaves today & Barbara arrives later this afternoon. Started my morning with acupuncture. I've been running a low grade fever for a few days now. When the body is detoxing (getting rid of the nasty junk), it is common to have flu like symptoms. I finished around 2:45, so I jumped in my little Hyundai Accent & zoomed to the airport to pick up Barbie. We have cooking class on Thursday evening, so we went straight back there. No cooking for us tonight. Sit, watch, & eat Suzanne's great food. Had potato leek soup, roasted veggies, barley confetti salad & turkey burger (no bun). I would really like some bread.

Day 13 TGIF...We made veggie egg scramble. Yum! Today is Barbara from Colorado's last day. Another darling lady who has leukemia. She told us that her doctors told her she only had a couple weeks left without doing a stem cell transplant. At her age of 66 she felt the risks outweighed the benefits, so she declined. She now looks great, & feels better. We sat in the sauna together talking, laughing & reading junk magazines. We left the clinic by 3 & went back to the cottage & checked movie times. We saw Men Who Stare At Goats. Let me tell you... save your money! Clooney should be ashamed of this one. We went shopping & reminisced about our college days & how much fun we had together. We were each other's last roommate before getting married. Annoying palpitations started when I went to bed.

Day 14 We slept late, watched a couple cheesy movies then went walking on the beach. We saw dolphins, a seal & the beached boat was still hangin out. It has been a most beautiful day, with chilly nights. We went to Spiritland for dinner. They are getting to know me there. Palpitations when I try to go to sleep.

Day 15 We got up at 5 to take Barb to the airport. I got to see the sunrise as I drove back to the cottage. Went back to sleep for a while. Kelly landed in LA at 10 then drove to SB, which took a couple hours. We went to the beach. It is another beautiful day. I'm feeling great & have so much energy. It was laundry day so I sent Kelly across the street to Lazy Acres to get what she wanted to eat. I neglected to tell her it was mostly organic, so the Triskets(sp) she did not find. LOL!! We ate at Spiritland again.

Day 16 I got the best wake up call at 5:30 this morning. Austin voiced on the other end brought tears to my eyes. He called to see what I was doing. I could hear Anthony on the other end say...son, what are you doing, you just woke mom up. Its 5:30 out there. He is missing me so much & wondering when I am coming home. Today is big bag day. Told Dr. Kim about the palpitations, so they are holding the cesium & potassium & drawing labs to check my electrolytes. The least bit of shift in potassium, magnesium, calcium, sodium can mess with your heart rhythm. I believe I'm having PACs, which are common & everyone has them every now & then, but mine have become quite noticeable to the point of annoying. I have a temp today of 102.3. I am freezing & I stare at the thermostat across the room that is setting on 75 degrees. A blanket is wrapped around me & I'm still cold to the bone. Dr. Issels seemed pleased I had that high of a fever. It means my immune system is working & hopefully the cancer cells are dying/starving. Cancer does not like high fever. Kelly went & got us salads & got lost on the way back. Needless to say she was a little stressed. Plus I wasn't feeling good.

Day 17 I have officially lost 10 lbs. Between drinking the alkalized water &a eating right, it has just fallen off. My sweet Eva had a mask on when I arrived. She wasn't feeling well, but came in to work to access me. What an angel! It is a smaller bag today, so infusion didn't take long. As soon as I was done she flushed me & told me she was leaving. By lunch my fever was back up to 101. My sedimentation rate is 100. Normal is <20. They are putting me on a steroid taper for the next 21 days. The sed rate indicates that there is inflammation. This could be a good indicator that the cancer cells are fighting and losing. All this good stuff going into me has got to be irritating the cancer. Kelly & I went to the movies & I saw Couples Retreat again. Sometimes we just need to laugh. Went to the airport & picked up Christy & took her to her hotel just a few blocks away from us.

Day 18 Kelly went & got Christy & Kelly got on the road to LA. Not knowing how bad traffic might be she wanted to get to the airport early. I will start a new medicine when I get home. It has to be compounded but unfortunately our home town pharmacy cannot make it. It is called TM or tetrathiomythyldate. My copper level is moderately elevated as well as a growth factor called VEGF (a type of hormone indicator). Copper has shown to cause angiogenesis or help form blood vessels. With an elevated copper VEGF it is more than likely helping supply cancer cells, so I will try this TM drug because it chelates the copper or binds it will get it down to a normal level. I will have a big bag today (62 1/2 gm of Vit C). It is a full room of people today. All but one of the nine chairs has a patient. Lena is back today for an infusion. She looks great is walking a mile a day now. Barbara from Colorado described it best that one comes in like a wilted flower leaves a beautiful flower in bloom. On the days I have a long infusion I get so sleepy. I was told it is L-glycene which is like a natural valium. I took Christy up to Cliff Dr. to see the sunset & we went to Lazy Acres. I wasn't feeling great so we went & ate at Spiritland again. It is a good pick me up. I believe this makes the fifth time.

Day 19 Only two days left. I have met many wonderful people. Anita, who is from Luverne, CA a couple hours away, started the same day as I did. She has been in so much pain. She had just finished up chemo & radiation before coming to the clinic. She got stuck in NY in Aug & had to have treatment there. She has metastatic breast cancer & had a tumor removed from her brain. Her Italian husband Tony cracks me up. I am so blessed. Whenever I get down, all I have to do is look around & I can always find someone who is suffering so much more than me. I know that may sound bad, but God has done this for a reason, & I try not to ask why anymore. The palpitations have become very annoying. I found out my magnesium is out of whack. Almonds are very high in magnesium & I have been eating the fool out of them.

Day 20 My last day at the clinic. I sprung out of bed & was ready to get this day over so I could start packing my bags. Christy spent most of the day tracking down my mail since I had a change of address from the first one I gave out. It is a short bag today. Acupuncture, sauna, lunch time lecture. I was so excited that there were a few products that I wouldn't have to change & that was my skin care & make-up. There were many hugs, pictures taken, & addresses swapped. Everyone wants to stay in touch. It was so neat how each & every one wanted to hear the other's story & how they found Issels Medical Clinic. This is truly a special place, & I feel blessed to have been able to come here. I'm starting a new drug tonight called Rapamune which targets the IGF pathway which is strongly positive in my biopsy slide. This is a clinical trial drug for metastatic breast cancer. Although Issels takes a more holistic approach, western medicine is still part of the treatment. They just go out on a limb more & find drugs that possibly target the tumor specifically. Chemo so much of the time kills the good & breaks down ones immune system. Oncologists treat the diagnosis while Issels treats the sensitivities.

Day 21 I know my suitcase is over the limit. I know it, I know it. I should have sent some stuff home with Anthony. Oh well, pay the penalty & get home. That is all I can think about is just hugging my sweet babies. We left out around 7:45 a.m. Got to the SB airport & boarded by 8:45. Got to LAX by 9:30. Layover for a couple hours then on to Minneapolis. Another layover for an hour & a half then on to Nashville. Got to BNA at 9:20 p.m. My lovies were waiting on us. What an emotional homecoming. I have never been so glad to hit TN soil. My man, my kiddos, my dogs, my BED, ahhhh!! HOME SWEET HOME!! Thank you Lord for getting me there & back. I pray you allow healing to take place as only you can do. I have been given the knowledge to improve my life & I pray that you extend my time here to do your work. May this blog bring someone closer to you by what I am experiencing. May my faith remain strong & my eyes stay fixed on you.

So Blessed

I'm not packed! Not a stitch in my bag. I have a mental list, but there is still more laundry to be folded & washed. I washed sheets & now have to get the beds made. Today has been nothing but errands after dropping the kids off to school. I now lay in bed so exhausted that I can't sleep...so I type.

My main reason for this entry is to thank all my family, friends, acquaintances, & total strangers for remembering us during this time. Anthony & I fly out on Sunday night at 6p. Please pray for safe travels. I got my H1N1 vaccine today as advised by my oncologist. Getting on that plane I felt it was necessary. I said a prayer as I got it. Please pray for our children, Abby & Austin. I know that my in-laws will take good care of them, but I know how those sweet babies think at bedtime. Of course they want their momma!! Austin asked me tonight if he could go. Breaks my heart. I just keep thinking why I am doing this. I don't want to miss a thing. Not a ballgame, next years volleyball season, another trip to Disney, checking out colleges, graduation, college football wherever they end up, another graduation...the list goes on.

So many have commented on how strong I am. It's all HIM, not me. I have to focus on HIM to get me through each day. I'm not nervous about going to Issels. All the details are already laid out. I just have to get on the plane & show up. Being anxious isn't going to get me anything but an ulcer. All I have is a positive attitude & great faith in my Maker that HE is preparing a much better place for me whether it be next week, next year or ten years from now. My body will be made new.

If you have your health take a moment & thank God for that gift. He suffered, bled, and died for you & me. No disease can compare to what He did for me. WOW! I'm so blessed!

What Would We Do Without Friends?

The last two days have been tough. Not sure why I'm having so much pain. A low grade fever is accompanying as well to make me feel a bit worse. This afternoon is fall festival at our childrens' school (Providence Christian Academy) & I hope I will be able to take them. Planning on a lot of rest today. Pray specifically for pain relief. I hate being in a fog from pain meds.

Yesterday I was able to forget & enjoy for a couple hours with two of my precious friends that will accompany me to California. Barb & I went & got pedicures then my other friend Tracey dropped by while our toesies were drying. We went & ate lunch & had great conversation. We all went to nursing school together & Tracey & I also went to high school together. Actually I met her on the bus to Brownie day camp & she had a broken arm. Isn't it funny the things we can remember from so far back? Tracey has an infectious laugh & a heart of gold. These two precious ladies have 5 children between them & are still working as nurses. If you recall my friend Barbara was in the accident June 22nd when the camper she was in at church camp had a large tree fall down the middle of it during a brief but strong thunderstorm in Greenbriar. This left her with a broken back & neck. She is here by God's grace & walking normal. She is an amazing woman & can do anything. I really admire her. Anthony will be with me the first week then I will have my personal nurses, 3 in a row. Kelly is so concerned & caring, She is giving up time with her sweet Grace. Then my sweet Christy, from church, who is nothing but an angel sent to lift me up with her encouraging words & glowing smile.

God has His hands all over this trip I believe. Everything is falling into place. Thank you Tracey, Barb, Kelly, & Christy. I love you!

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in Your presence Psalm 16:11

My Prayer for Guidance

It has been way too long since my last post. So much has happened. It has been difficult to talk about for a while. I'm sure a lot of you have heard through the grapevine what has been going on the last month. Back in the end of August I found out that the scans showed changes in the cancer. There are lymph nodes in my abdomen that have gotten bigger & the bone lesion on my right shoulder had grown to a size that I had to consult with a orthopedic oncologist. This angel of a lady, suggested that I have radiation to my shoulder, which as of today I am halfway through the 10 treatments. If this works then I probably won't have to have surgery later down the road to stabilize. For those of you that wonder why I haven't played tennis & golf, this is why. Just cleaning the house hurts. My regular oncologist was scared of a fracture, since it involves a long bone. She put me on Tamoxifen because the Arimidex that has kept the cancer calm had quit working. I knew when I started developing fevers again that something was up. To make the story shorter, the Tamoxifen I took for a month & a half really didn't help. The CT & bone scan on Oct 7th, showed that I have 2-3 liver lesions. I think this report had to be the most brutal blow to me than any other. My prayer for so long was to keep it out of organs. After many tears, I have accepted what the Lord has given me. I have had to turn the burden over to HIM once again because it is far too out there for me to handle.

My sweet doctor called to let me know what treatment options I had. They were chemo, chemo & chemo. One of which I will never take again because the arthralgia (joint pain) was so severe I truly wanted to die. I took a few days to pray & request wisdom & guidance that only HE can give. I've asked for a beaming path & he is truly answering with the way things have taken place. I believe in divine intervention & that if we seek, we will find. This past Friday was the determining factor. If my oncologist gave me her blessing then I would go forward. She was so understanding & said she knew that I was searching for something else. All she asked was to keep her involved & updated. With this being said, I will be going to Santa Barbara, Ca Nov 1st-21st. I will be in treatment there 9-4 Mon- Fri for those three weeks. Anthony is planning on being with me the first week, then a friend from Knoxville, then the last week is yet to be determined. If any of you know of anyone that would like to sell some of their skymiles, we would be interested.

Keep us in your prayers. Pray that this plan HE has for me will continue to be clear & free from influence of others. I also need uplifting to remain strong, & as stress free as possible. I feel my body cannot heal itself if there are negative thoughts, feelings, & words that the enemy wants to throw my way constantly. HE is my rock, my fortress, my strength, my redeemer!! I am so blessed even through my suffering.

Also my sweet mom (Jeanette Gilliam) is in room 1020 at Adams Place for rehab after her hip replacement. She will be there the next 3-4 weeks. I won't be here to see her like I do now, so if you get a chance, that would help me more than anything. Thank you all for your continued prayers. Love to all!!

3 Day Chicago

What an amazing few days it has been! Besides being in Chicago since Thursday with one of my dearest & sweetest friends in the world, Kristy, I have gotten to experience one of the most heart touching & emotional events of my life. The 3 day 60 mile walk benefitting Susan G. Komen is now something I have to do & has been officially added to the bucket list.

Back in the latter part of this last winter, I got the privilege of meeting a very special person, Gloria Cooley. I had only communicated by e-mail & blogs with her. Another friend, Jeanine Joyner had been put in touch with her through a mutual friend of hers & Gloria's. So Gloria & her precious baby Ella, made a leap of faith & decided to come visit us. Let me tell you...what a darling! A genuine friend from the get go. She smiles from ear to ear & her spirit for our Lord is evident.

To get on with the story, Gloria's mom had breast cancer several years ago & Gloria while still living in Texas at that time, decided to do the 3 day in Dallas. Last year she took off because she had a baby on Aug 12...pretty lame excuse if you ask me. This year she decided to walk again & her fundraising page featured me. I was blown away. Earlier in the week after viewing her 3 day page, a little voice was pushing me to go. I'm a very spontaneous person to begin with, so I got a flight, room, & rental car set up & Kristy Gross decided to be spontaneous with me. I knew I could count on her. We got there on Thursday afternoon & got checked in at the hotel, then went to Gloria's house. We flew into Midway, so of course everything was at least 45 minutes away. Gloria's friend, Lindsay Rogers, who is from Texas flew in to walk with her. Gloria's sweet hubby, Daniel, & Ella joined us for pizza at Giordano's. It was delicious as always. We made a quick trip to Target for a few last minute items then back to Gloria's house so they could get up early.

On Friday morning, we met them for the opening ceremony. The music, the speaker & the sea of pink gave me goose bumps. I have been to many SGK events, but this one was extra special. We found Gloria & Lindsay & got hugs & pictures before the walk started. They herded all the walkers in one area so they could file out down a path with supporters on each side cheering, throwing confetti, & basically having a big pep rally. We saw some crazy get-ups...boobs on caps, men wearing hot pink bras over their shirts. I saw women in wheelchairs, ones with oxygen, arms in slings, feet that could hardly carry them & those that looked like they were in therapy or just finished. Amazing women everywhere you looked.

After leaving the opening ceremony, we grabbed some breakfast. From there we had some time to waste before they would make it to the first cheer station. We had time to go make a sign & get Dove chocolates & charms blow pops to hand out to the walkers. Cell phones & the GPS made life somewhat easier those two days. Although a few times the GPS decided to have a mind of her own & take us out of the way. Right after lunch the rain set in for the evening. When they finished for the day, we picked them up at camp at Oakton Community College. They were drenched & so cold. I forgot to add that we had this "smurf blue" Dodge Caliber rental car. You could spot us a mile away. I told Kristy that God knew what he was doing when we got this car. We took them back to the hotel to shower, & get to bed.

Kristy & I went to Shaw's on Friday night to get some great seafood. When you go to Chicago it is a must to eat at Shaw's. After getting back to the hotel & settling in bed, Kristy started feeling bad. I had fallen asleep & had woke up to the room door closing. Bless her heart...she was so sick, but I have to say she is one of those graceful, quiet vomiters. If that is a word.?. She will kill me for writing this. She might have gotten 2-3 hours of sleep at best. The next morning I just let her sleep & brought her back something to eat. She was too weak to even pack her bag, poor thing. We checked out & got on the road to see Gloria one last time. Fortunately we found the walkers quickly & drove to a shady spot & waited. I could tell Kristy was struggling, so I found their next checkpoint & we met up for one last hug & goodbyes. It was hot & humid by midday, but they only had about four miles to go.

The drive back to the airport had to be the longest and bumpiest ever. I was starving and could feel my blood sugar dropping by the second. I was wanting one good hotdog before boarding the plane. It was not to be found on Cicero ave that is for sure. One of the longest roads from the airport to the North Shore. On top of that the Garmin GPS went bonkers again, so I'm sure we went a few minutes out of the way. I finally got my hotdog, but it was in the airport. I must say not bad, but at that point anything would have satisfied the hunger.

Gloria and I texted and called with updates. Sunday was on Lakeshore drive and downtown. The closing ceremony was at Soldier Field. She made it with two blisters on each foot, which is much better than her first time. By 4p or so the closing ceremony had started. How I wish I could have been there, but my two kiddos were in a two day golf tournament, so I wanted to be there for at least one day of it. I told Gloria I hoped her feet were ok and her response was blisters don't require chemo. She is such an amazing person. She is one of the few in life that is so selfless and giving. I believe God made women with a special kind of strength. One that influences, perseveres, and endures. Here's to you Gloria. I love you!

...be strengthened by the Lord and by his vast strength. Eph 6:10

Loss

So many have had some sort of loss lately. It's kinda scary how many have lost their life whether it be to disease, old age or just down right stupidity. Abby has asked a lot of questions about all the death that has occurred lately. All one can say to an eleven year old, that is quite the worrier, is it was all in God's will & timing. To make things worse, a friend's wife in Jamestown, who Anthony has known all his life, lost her battle with metastatic breast cancer on July 2nd. She was 42 & had two teenagers, Morgan 17 & Gavan 13. She has had breast cancer in the past, but in December she began experiencing terrible headaches. They soon found out that it had spread throughout her body. She went to Vanderbilt & they couldn't do anything for her, so they decided to go to Mexico. They made a couple trips until she couldn't travel anymore. Sitting there looking at her sweet family I just ached for them. Leaving a husband and children behind has got to be the worst part of all of this. I know that it is my biggest fear. That funeral was one of the hardest I've ever had to sit through, with the exception of my Daddy. It made me realize once again how much I need to cherish each day the Lord gives me to enjoy on this earth. I will continue to fight this. As I keep saying...it's all about attitude and faith.

Simply Amazing

I guess many of you now have heard about my wonderful news. I had my Vanderbilt appointment on Wednesday. I had a CT, bone scan, labs, saw the dr., & had my infusion. It was quite a long day. I was only able to get the CT results which showed only a few enlarged lymph nodes (3-4) a little over a centimeter. They have to report anything over a cm. That is so small & the dr. said that I could just have a few oversized nodes. I'll take that any day. Otherwise it looked good. Woo Hoo!! The bone scan report wasn't available yet, so she was to call me later. I waited until Thursday around lunch & couldn't stand it any longer. I called & a nurse called me back. She said that there was NO SIGN OF OSTEOLYTIC (bone) METASTATIC DISEASE. I was speechless. The nurse was thrilled for me as well. I also do not have to see the dr. or get an infusion for two months & no scans for four months. I've been crying tears of joy, & praising him. I feel I'm a miracle. He has proven what he is capable of doing in my life. I asked for him to show me his power & he did...he did in a huge way. HE answers prayers in his time. HE takes care of his children. If this doesn't prove that he is the Almighty, sovereign, great Physician & Lord of All, I don't know what does. For those of you that don't believe in modern day miracles, please reconsider your beliefs. HE can do anything if we just put total faith in him, give him the burden, & stay in walk with him. All HE asks for in return is our heart.

...if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5:14b-15

Yesterday

The kids & I had just gotten home this time yesterday. At 12:15 I heard the sirens @ MTSU go off. Abby & I were in the kitchen getting a bite of lunch. Austin was across town at a baseball hitting/fielding clinic until 12:45. As soon as I heard that siren I knew we had to get to him. That metal building on River Rock by Old Time Pottery was not a good place to be. As I decided which direction to go, I looked at the sky & realized that Haynes, Thompson & even Northfield, Medical ctr pkwy appeared to be getting darker. I chose to cut through Mid TN blvd, & go New Salem & down River Rock at WOC. Anthony was in surgery & had a nurse call to check on us. We were on Cason Ln when the tornado was going over the interstate. I never looked at the sky in fear of what I might see. All I could think of was getting my boy. I raced in, got Austin & his bag & ran like I hadn't in years. We got to Old Fort Pkwy & it started hailing. We quickly retreated to the old Holiday Inn & got as close under their shelter as possible & got the children inside. I talked with a man that had just watched the tornado go over the interstate. As the rain slowed, we jumped back in the Tahoe & hit the road again. We hydroplaned all the way down Old Fort until I got to Quality furniture. The rain & hail had started again. I whipped the car around & drove to the BP where I spied the brick bay car wash. I drove into one which I shared with a compact car full of Hispanic guys. I got out & asked if we could share the space. Finally the rain lightened up again. Driving like a mad woman, we drove down Memorial & I saw the lights out at Northfield. I cut through the parking lot at Hastings & again hydroplaned down Northfield. My adrenaline was flowing because between my mother-in-law & Anthony, I was getting play by plays as to where the tornados were hitting. All I had been thinking about was getting Austin & us all getting home safe & sound. When we arrived to Bradberry drive all I could do was thank my Lord for being my co-pilot & guiding me through the routes not in the tornado's path. He led me the longer but safer route to get my sweet little one. I would have hit it head on if I had taken the other route. I remember telling Abby as we sat at the light at Mercury & MT blvd, I know this is taking longer, but we have to stay where it is lighter. God gives us direction in life. We just have to listen.

My Last Few Weeks

So much has happened since my last entry. I have had such immense energy that I haven't taken time to sit down & type. Basketball season finished up. PCA had middle school girls & boys to take home the championships. We were so proud of these two teams & all their hard work.

Also a group of my high school friends got together & we had a wonderful time eating & catching up. It took a bit of chatting back & forth on Facebook for us all to coordinate, but we did it. Bonefish was ready to get rid of us after three hours. Hopefully we will be getting together every other month & taking a weekend getaway in May.

I finally got to meet a blog buddy that I met through my friend Jeanine. Gloria, or Glo as many call her, is originally from Texas & has a mutual friend of Jeanine's. Her sweet hubby Daniel booked a flight for her & baby Ella to Tennessee so she could meet us. What a sweetheart! Her love for the Lord is evident. Glo's mother has experienced breast cancer as well. She & Daniel have been prayer warriors for us the last year & a half. They live in Chicago, one of my favorite places to visit. I hope Jeanine & I can pull off a weekend trip there when it gets warmer. These days I have a harder time staying warm. Gloria is also walking the 3Day walk for breast cancer & will honor me. It brings tears to my eyes to think this brave soul will endure blisters on her feet in my behalf. That darling Ella, who is six months old is nothing but yummy. One of the best babies I've ever seen. She sat there at Cracker Barrel & barely made a peep. When Glo offered her to me to hold, she just sank into my arms.

I had my monthly Vanderbilt appointment. Labs, dr., & bone strengthener proved to be a long afternoon. My RBCs were better than they have been in months, thus more energy. The dr. suggested a scan in April instead of March. YEAH! I still am going without pain meds. Not even an ibuprofen. Stiffness usually gets me when I roll out of bed, but after a few minutes I'm moving good. My hands & legs also are swelling quite a bit. She said this would happen, but it's tolerable.

The children & I went to see my sister & brother-in-law this past weekend. We left Friday after lunch. Most of the way, Austin was saying, "how much longer!" We got to meet friends of theirs...a sweet family that just came back from the mission field in Malaysia. They use to be in Japan. Ronnie & Junko (June-ko) have two precious children, Eunice (7) & Jedidiah or J (5). They are still trying to get settled back in the states. Ronnie grew up in Rockmart, Ga, where Doug & Marzetta teach at the high school. They are praying for God to tell them what/where to do/go next. On Saturday, we went to the newly opened Tellus science museum of north GA. We had a wonderful four hours there. The planetarium was incredible. I highly recommend it. It's like a mini Smithsonian. We hurriedly drove to Atlanta & went to the World of Coke. Another fun time. 4D show & tasting coke products from around the world. WARNING: Beverly from Italy is nasty!! As we came back home yesterday & up Monteagle mountain, the snow met us. It was gorgeous hanging on the trees & falling with the increase in temperature. We had to stop & have a snowball fight & upon arriving in the driveway they were ready to jump out & make a snowman. We played outside until the cold overtook us. Making memories has become so important to me. I want Abby & Austin to remember me as a fun loving mom that always tried to keep Christ as the focus at all times.

Please remember that each day is a gift from God. We should not worry about tomorrow, because we have no guarantee of it. Live everyday to its fullest, laugh until you hurt, love unconditionally.

More Info From Dr

My doctor at Vanderbilt just returned my page. I told her that I was getting numerous questions from family & friends & I want to have everything on this blog so no one is misinformed. She said I was getting a great response to the therapy. The disease is very stable and controlled. The tumor marker is still elevated at 264, with medicine recognizing a value of <41 as cured. The cancer cells are circulating at a much lower level. Medically speaking, it is still stage 4, but the areas are so small that they cannot be detected by PET resolution. I still say God is definitely showing off in a big way.

Faith Brings HEALING!!

I have been waiting on the day since all of this cancer stuff started back up again to be able to write this entry. On Wednesday, as many of you know, I had a PET scan at Vanderbilt & saw my doctor. She was only able to give me a prelimary report that day & was mailing out the full report asap. I received that report last night (Sat) surprisingly, as I forgot to get the mail at lunch. It was laying on the kitchen counter from where Anthony came in hurriedly & tossed it down to go get ready for our date night. I opened it before we left out. Silence overtook us both as we opened it up & read the report. Head & neck showed no foci (focus) of abnormal activity. Chest showed no abnormal foci of increased activity, specifically the multiple areas shown on the PET of 9/19/08 have RESOLVED. Abdomen & pelvis show no abnormal foci of increased activity. The KIDNEYS appear normal!! My left one has had atropy for the last two years or more! No mention of atrophy. Musculoskeletal showed no abnormal foci of increased activity, specifically the diffuse multifocal uptake of tracer seen on the PET scan in 9/08 has resolved in the interim. It only shows sclerotic (scarred) changes throughout my spine, without FDG (tracer) activity, likely representing treated disease. WOW!! I asked God to make himself known, to show to me who is, to show his power to me. I went in scared, dreading the report. As we sat there waiting on the dr., I read from my bible & devotion book called "Jesus Calling". I told God to let himself be known to me, to show me what he is capable of doing, & that I have all my faith in HIM that he can heal me. After we talked with the dr, Kristy left & the dr examined me & told me that I could go like this for years. One patient of hers has had what I've had done & she said she has to remind her she still has cancer in order to get her to come to follow-up appts. As soon as she left me alone in the room, I fell to my knees, raised my hands to him & declared to HIM his sovereignty & healing power. Since that moment, I have had a wonderful spirit about me...one of complete faith, a physical feeling I haven't had in two years, & joy that I didn't know if I would ever experience again. My energy level has increased daily. I felt like dancing last night (Sat). Anthony & I just soaked it in while out by ourselves. I didn't call anyone or say much until Sunday. The children are elated. Abby wanted a percentage of what is gone & I tried to explain that God has chosen for nothing to be seen, just scars. I told Mom I was in a state of shock. I have read & reread the report. There are a couple scriptures I want to share that spoke to me...I will live & not die & declare the illustrious acts of the Lord. Psalm 118:17; Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. James 1:2; I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33 God has been so good to me. Thank you all! Please continue to pray, but most of all PRAISE!

GOD IS SO GOOD!

I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. I got wonderful news today from the preliminary PET scan. She said the scan was better than the one back in September!!! "In fact it is better than better", she said. Lymph nodes in my chest were smaller. No new bones lesions. The lack of estrogen must be working. We are going to continue the Arimidex & Zometa indefinitely & the lack of estrogen can make me stiff/hurt due to it being a natural lubricant for the bones. Tears of joy swelled up in my eyes & all I could do was thank my Lord for all HIS greatness!!! This is truly an answer to many, many prayers. I can't thank you all enough for interceding continually to our Maker. My dear friend Kristy was there with me to celebrate the great news. There was little to no cell phone service, so I couldn't text or call after the dr left the room. We were there at Vanderbilt all day. From 10 a & got home around 7p. It was worth it being there all day getting that kind of news. God is so good! For HE knows the plans he has for me, to prosper not to harm me, plans for a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 YES LORD, I love this verse! You have this glorious scripture embedded within me. There is a reason for all of this...

Vandy

We had a great appointment on Monday. As we were driving to Nashville in the rain, I turned to Anthony & said, "I have a good feeling about this lady." Usually I have a case of the nerves before drs' appts, but Monday was different. I knew it would be crazy at Vanderbilt. From the parking to checking out & making more appointments. The doctor was thorough, humble, & looked me straight in the eyes when she talked to me. We go back on the 21st for a PET scan, to see her, & for my Zometa. Our plan is staying as is for now. Please say a prayer that everything is stable. The Lord has truly blessed me for the last month with increased energy & little pain. Thank you all for your cards, prayers, & sweet words of encouragement & love.