My Prayer for Guidance

It has been way too long since my last post. So much has happened. It has been difficult to talk about for a while. I'm sure a lot of you have heard through the grapevine what has been going on the last month. Back in the end of August I found out that the scans showed changes in the cancer. There are lymph nodes in my abdomen that have gotten bigger & the bone lesion on my right shoulder had grown to a size that I had to consult with a orthopedic oncologist. This angel of a lady, suggested that I have radiation to my shoulder, which as of today I am halfway through the 10 treatments. If this works then I probably won't have to have surgery later down the road to stabilize. For those of you that wonder why I haven't played tennis & golf, this is why. Just cleaning the house hurts. My regular oncologist was scared of a fracture, since it involves a long bone. She put me on Tamoxifen because the Arimidex that has kept the cancer calm had quit working. I knew when I started developing fevers again that something was up. To make the story shorter, the Tamoxifen I took for a month & a half really didn't help. The CT & bone scan on Oct 7th, showed that I have 2-3 liver lesions. I think this report had to be the most brutal blow to me than any other. My prayer for so long was to keep it out of organs. After many tears, I have accepted what the Lord has given me. I have had to turn the burden over to HIM once again because it is far too out there for me to handle.

My sweet doctor called to let me know what treatment options I had. They were chemo, chemo & chemo. One of which I will never take again because the arthralgia (joint pain) was so severe I truly wanted to die. I took a few days to pray & request wisdom & guidance that only HE can give. I've asked for a beaming path & he is truly answering with the way things have taken place. I believe in divine intervention & that if we seek, we will find. This past Friday was the determining factor. If my oncologist gave me her blessing then I would go forward. She was so understanding & said she knew that I was searching for something else. All she asked was to keep her involved & updated. With this being said, I will be going to Santa Barbara, Ca Nov 1st-21st. I will be in treatment there 9-4 Mon- Fri for those three weeks. Anthony is planning on being with me the first week, then a friend from Knoxville, then the last week is yet to be determined. If any of you know of anyone that would like to sell some of their skymiles, we would be interested.

Keep us in your prayers. Pray that this plan HE has for me will continue to be clear & free from influence of others. I also need uplifting to remain strong, & as stress free as possible. I feel my body cannot heal itself if there are negative thoughts, feelings, & words that the enemy wants to throw my way constantly. HE is my rock, my fortress, my strength, my redeemer!! I am so blessed even through my suffering.

Also my sweet mom (Jeanette Gilliam) is in room 1020 at Adams Place for rehab after her hip replacement. She will be there the next 3-4 weeks. I won't be here to see her like I do now, so if you get a chance, that would help me more than anything. Thank you all for your continued prayers. Love to all!!