Last week, to put it bluntly, was probably the worst since I was diagnosed. For one, I believe that my hormones are officially out of whack. They told me that this is possible, due to the chemo. Basically all I felt like doing was laying around & sleeping. Guess the weather hasn't helped much either. By the weekend, I really felt horrible & knew that my blood counts were down. So Monday when I went in for my bone strengthener (Zometa) & bloodwork I found I was severely neutropenic again. Almost as low as it has been. No Neupogen, but the warning from the nurse to stay away from crowds & liberal handwashing. Yes...I know this by now! So this is the end of my fourth cycle. It is scan week. I get a bone scan on Thursday & CT on Friday.
Please, please remember me in your prayers. I've had more pain in the last week than I've had in a while. My right arm just aches to the point of tears. Sometimes I feel as if God has forgotten about me. Hey! I'm hurting down here in more ways than one. I hate having those dark moments, but unfortunately they tend to creep in when you try to be everything to everyone, but just aren't physically strong enough to be "it all." I went to my womens' bible study this morning & realized how thankful I need to be to wake up each day & to just love my beautiful family. God doesn't expect the "perfect, polished look" each day. He just wants my heart & for me to talk & walk with him daily. Asking him for guidance, strength, courage, & most of all patience is so simple, yet some days we make it so difficult. Getting wrapped up in all the petty, little stuff can take the enjoyment out of life & that is one thing I want to savor.
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3 comments:
Oh my friend, I am SO glad to hear your went to Bible Study! I was praying for you this morning and asked the Lord to get you there, and I am thankful that He did! As blessed as you were to be there, I know you had to be a blessing to the others as well. I hope today you are feeling better and continue to pray for miraculous results on those scans.
God made you, so he understands every feeling and thought that you have. What he loves is that no matter what, you still turn to him again and again. That is what faith is all about in its purest form. He loves you so much.
Love,
Lisa M.
Arthy,I recently read that God is the "hearer of our prayers"! He not only hears our prayers,He cares about every detail of our life and wants to hear all of our feelings from us. Psalm 121 tells us He is our Protector. He cares for you and loves you! I continue to pray for you and your family. Today I am praying for you strength and comfort as well as healing! Love, Susan L.
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